nothing will fuck you up as much as the realization that there’s no real reason the alphabet needs to be in order
sirius black making no less than 37 deer related jokes in his best man speech
Deerly beloved, family, and friends, it behooves me to deliver this speech to two of the purest harts I know, two individuals so fawned of each other…
Still my favorite liquor store name. (Nonamericans and/or people unfamiliar with the US Constitution: Google it.)
If you get me chipotle you will get chipotlaid
He’s just mad because he can’t acquire all the apple juice that I’m acquiring. (x)
I’d like to think I’m witty and intelligent, but realistically I’m just a smart ass who likes to read and doesn’t know what’s going on out in the real world.